Driver & Outcome: Clarity & Connection
Part 2: Connection
In contrast to my using over 900 words to discuss clarity, I’ll use less than half that to convey the meaning and importance of connection to DVL. Connection is more than “half the battle” so to speak. Imagine if you can a list of virtually every story that was ever written or told about human beings. In every one of those stories, you’ll find a story about connection. That’s because our need for connection is as central and indivisible to who we are as anything in our human universe – from the countless synaptic connections between the neurons in our brains that collectively give us thought . . . to our pursuit of it in every relationship. Everything about us as a species points to connection – and not just to other people – connections to nature, to our own bodies and feelings, to energy, beauty, spirit, to different dimensions of our own personality and to different kinds of power. In some way it seems like every other commercial on television is about connection.
DVL expands connection because it helps us see more clearly what’s both visible in invisible to us in life. Almost every degree of our survival, wellbeing, and success is a function of connection of some kind – to information, support, resources, opportunity – you name it. So when those connections are diminished or cut off — even momentarily — we feel threatened.
If we return to our model of DVL as a dance of both clarity and connection, it’s probably already obvious that connection and clarity are inseparable though different. So, cultivating DVL is about developing and expanding both. So, here’s another possibly useful distinction: Clarity is like the more intellectual, visible, or tangible dimension of this layer. It’s WHAT we know — what we can point to on that (ideal) “page” we always want to be on with others. It’s the content of our focus. . . Connection, by comparison, may seem like the more emotional, invisible and intangible dimension. It’s HOW we feel — that we can identify more as a sensation or experience that helps us determine a level of trust. It is the page that we may or may not wind up on in any given moment.
Both clarity and connection result in a state of mind, body and emotion that can shift in a second – by a change in information or perception – like a call or a confirmation that was expected yet never received – or received too late. When this happens, our response to that presence or absence of clarity or connection – can drive us into emotional states that can dominate our thinking – if not our lives. What’s empowering then as a key aim of DVL, is to make our mindset and habits about connection, especially those habits that are automatic and reflexive – more conscious flexible, inclusive and expansive – less limiting.